Discussion Post I submitted for my Atlantic University TP5110 Course – July 16, 2020
A central driving force over the last twenty years of my spiritual journey has been an elusive search for truth. I suppose this is similar to the dialogue between Ellie and Palmer in Contact. Each attempting to define their definition of what truth really means.
I joined the Catholic Church in 2000 shortly after the birth of my first child. I felt the post-modernist world had lost its way and no longer offered anything, particularly in terms of spirituality. I figured an old and established formal religion must be where the truth is hidden. Studying scripture and the teachings of Jesus were helpful, although I kept wanting more. I tried to pray and do the rosary, yet I still didn’t feel connected to God as my spirituality advanced from purely an intellectual exercise. Certain teachings about original sin and heaven & hell, accompanied by the horrific child abuse scandal, led me to start searching outside the Church beginning in 2015. It was through my experience with the Church where I fully became aware of the depth of the dichotomy between science and faith.
I dabbled with Eastern philosophy, alchemy, and ultimately Spiritualism, mediumship, Edgar Cayce, and Atlantic University. These previous five years, like the fifteen prior, were still driven by a gnawing sense that there must be some universal truths out there. If I could just find the right formula or say the proper chant, I’d enter into an altered state of consciousness. I’d discover Yoda plopping down next to me and he’d explain how everything worked. I’d find out the truth behind the Universe, when it started and how, what God consist of, and answers to a whole bunch of other spiritual questions. I’d also find out about other pressing issues like who killed JFK and why Shelly Long would ever leave Cheers when it was at its height of popularity, as a Saturday Night Live skit once pondered.
In many ways, my search parallels Ellie’s. As I mentioned in last week’s post, she was driven in large part by a huge void left by the loss of her parents. As Robin noted in this week’s video, she had lost “contact” and was desperately trying to regain it. I suppose we all have some of that contained within us. Like Ellie, I too spend much time alone or at least in surroundings where I feel I’m on an island with people who don’t truly understand me. It’s that longing for something we can’t put our finger on that keeps us going. It keeps us up at night and forces us to move towards the unknown during the day. Ultimately, it’s a longing is for God our whatever our concept of the Divine. As St. Augustine said, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee” (400, page unknown)
As I find myself three-quarters through my Master’s at A.U., my passion for finding the truth isn’t as strong or as much of a foundational force. I’m opening up more through practices like meditation and understanding that truth, along with the Universe, is located within. I’ve also learned that so much of the journey was spent on my own. I searched for “my truth,” and as I joined various groups and institutions, it quickly devolved into an “us” versus “them.” It was easy for me to do after spending most of my adult life working in politics and following sports closely. Our side is right; we know the way, and your side is wrong. “Yay Orange team, boo Green team.”
I’m trying to remove myself from the pitched battles of the 3D world. There’s no greater example of this than the polarity between “science” and “faith.” Arguments between these two worldviews has devolved into silliness and resemble barroom discussions over whether the 1927 Yankees were better than the 2004 Red Sox. Fun in the beginning, yet egos ultimately take over, and friendships lost.
I am still work in progress, however. Too often, I’m motivated by personal desires and selfishness. I’m struggling with letting go of having to be right and viewing the “other side” as the enemy. I’ve never been fond of “scientism,” although I value the contributions of science and medicine. I suppose I agree with Huston Smith when he says, “Science is on balance good, whereas nothing good can be said for scientism” (2003, p. 233). Yet, as I write these words, I realize how much they’re itching for a fight, which is usually an indication they stem from the ego. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel with a healthy dose of antagonism towards authority, so I’m not big on wearing masks, getting the flu shot, or even using fluoride. I am much more comfortable pursuing a spiritual path rather than a scientific one, and I long for miracles and alternative healing methods. I say long because I still have doubts sometimes and wonder what I would do if faced with a life-threatening prognosis. Would I discard my beliefs, and cave to those around me who urge me to go the modern medicine route?
There is no middle ground between science and faith worldviews as they’ve been fought out over the past nearly 150 years. Countless hours are spent trying to find a compromise or at least an awkward co-existence. Smith mentions a couple of the larger institutions dedicated to the mission of navigating a path between these two Superpowers (2000, pp. 245-248).
I concur with Vaclav Havel that “we are going through a transitional period when it seems that something is on the way out and something else is painfully being born” (Havel, 1994). The work of Zygon Center and Berkley’s Center for Theology and the Natural Scientists seems too little too late, or maybe more like the Dutch boy with his finger in the dyke. It also seems so “last millennium.” Havel puts his finger on where we’re headed. He says we must become aware “of our being anchored in the earth and the universe, the awareness that we are not here alone nor for ourselves alone, but that we are an integral part of higher, mysterious entities against whom it is not advisable to blaspheme” (Havel, 1994). Can we get there? Havel, quoting an unnamed modern philosopher, adds, “Only a God can save us now” (Havel, 1994). I believe that’s always been the case.
References
Augustine of Hippo (400), Confessions. Retrieved from https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/42572-thou-hast-made-us-for-thyself-o-lord-and-our
Bradshaw, J. (Producer), & Zemeckis, R. Initials. (Director). (1997). Contact [Motion picture]. United States: Warner Bros.
Havel, V. (1994, July), The need for transcendence in the postmodern world. Speech presented in Independence Hall on July 4th, Philadelphia, PA.
Smith, H. (2000), Why religion matters: the fate of the human spirit in an age of disbelief, “Scientism: the bedrock of the modern worldview.” In M.M. Zarandi (Ed) (2003). Science and the myth of progress (pp. 233-248). Bloomington, IN: World Wisdom, Inc.